Momma got a call from the principal’s office
Better get down here fast
’Cause Mindy passed out when her water broke
In the middle of geometry class
Her momma didn’t know she was nine months late
Been gettin’ on her ’bout gainin’ weight
And now she’s a grandma
Somebody had a baby
Somebody had a breakdown
Ah, it’s a big day
In a small town
Willie Smith swore he wouldn’t miss one more
Of junior’s football games
Got his 12 pack of Bud
And his Friday night buzz
Headin’ south in the northbound lane
Junior’s in the end zone, half back pitch
Willie’s sittin’ upside down in a ditch
And the crowd goes wild
Somebody wrecked a pickup
Somebody scored a touchdown
Ah, it’s a big day
In a small town
There ain’t no mall - no Waffle House
But there’s always something to talk about
Around here
Somebody shot a deer - somebody’s gettin’ married
Or buried - or carried away
If the sun comes up - and the sun goes down
Ah, it’s a big day
In a small town
Rumor goin’ around ’bout a Methodist man
And a jailbait check-out queen
His wife caught wind of unspeakable sin
Goin’ down on aisle 13
She left all the chicken in the fryin’ pan
Threw all the kids in the Grand Caravan
With a baseball bat
Somebody went to Walmart
In nothin’ but a nightgown
Ah, it’s a big day
In a small town
There ain’t no mall - no Waffle House
But there’s always something to talk about
Around here
Somebody shot a deer - somebody’s gettin’ married
Or buried - or carried away
If the sun comes up - and the sun goes down
Ah, it’s a big day
In a small town